Another Thanksgiving is upon us. Some 390 years have elapsed since Squanto, a Patuxet Indian, saved the Plymouth Rockers from their own ineptitude. Ultimately, Indians were thanked with near-annihilation by manifest destiny and smallpox. Squanto was dead within two years of his heroic largesse. Historians speculate he was poisoned by fellow tribesmen who found his altruism treasonous. Let no good deed go unpunished.
How could such Strum und Drang birth such a warm and fuzzy holiday?
Thanksgiving can be a locus of stress. If you’re hosting, the anxiety begins with the guest list and ends with… well, just ask VMG’s own Bruce McArthur — the stress may never end.
While we can’t invite you aboard the Volcano for a leisurely sail or a spa weekend at the Capri Palace, we can offer some free, fun and workable ways to help you manage holiday expectations, guests and tensions.
Last year, Uncle Lou bolted his butt to the Barcalounger in front of the Sony. There he remained not only for every game, but until the Home Shopping Club sold out its Tanzanite reserves.
Solution: unplug the TV and claim the satellite dish is broken.
Not all table-talk is as scintillating as James Ellroy dialog. Assume Aunt Margaret and Cousin Joe will again bare their elbows and knees to prove the heartbreak of psoriasis trumps the embarrassment of eczema.
Solution: digital diversions. With a fully charged smart phone, browse and text under the table cloth.
Remember that girl in Junior year who made your eyes roll so far back in your head, they nicknamed her “the zombie-maker?” Now’s a perfect time to Google her.
Wondering what’s the best pocket HD camcorder? Scan some reviews between the sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie.
Curious about your office pal’s holiday? Text him a quick whazzup. If his Thanksgiving seems to be going better than yours, shoot him this image and tell him she’s your dinner date.